Dating Suddenly Seymour ?!


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I mentioned that I had reactivated my account on So far I have been on dates with two different guys. None of these dates have done practically well. In this post I’m going to talk about the first guy.

The first guy, we will call Seymour (No that is not his really his name;There is something about him that reminds me of Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors.) We met for the first time at a wine bar.  Seymour is maybe 5’4 and small and frail like a bird. He is a civil engineer. That was about all I remember for our first date because I got hammered. I am not really sure why but it happened. I was so hangover/ still drunk the next day at my inventory job. I was really surprised when he texted me and asked me to go out again. We went to a science on the rocks event at the Discovery Place. I was not sure what to wear so I wore pretty green dress and heels. Then I got there and everyone was wearing jeans. Seymour even asked me what I was wearing. Then we walked to Crave, a desert bar. We has some appetizers and drinks. Don’t worry, I only had one drink. It went ok but it did not seem like he was that interested in me. Then on Tuesday, he texted me and asked me, if I wanted to go see the movie Cinderella on Friday night. Then he told me that he looked at the movie times and that the nearest theater playing the movie was in Concord, which is over an hour away. I was really disappointed. Then he suggested that we see Get Hard at Cinebarre. I love Cinebarre and agreed to go. Then on Friday, I went on the movie theater website to get an address to put into GPS. Then while I was on the site, you won’t believe what I saw. Cinderella was playing that night.  He told me it was not playing at Cinebarre. When we were at the movie theater I asked him about it and he said that he did not see it online. I find that hard to believe. He was the one that suggested we see it. If he did not want to see it he should have told me and not lied about it. That is a red flag.

Here We Go Again….


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I have not written a blog post in a while. I started my new job at the law firm recently. It is stressful getting use to everything but I am so grateful that I have this opportunity and remind myself that every day. I still work at the inventory company and it has taken a bit to balance both jobs. I have been tired a lot lately. I am really trying to have a positive attitude. Unfortunately all of this stress has negatively affected my diet. I keep eating crap. I hope I get back on band wagon soon.

I rejoined I have not had much luck on in the past but against my better judgment, I decided to give it another go. I would really like to have someone in my life long term. Why does dating have to be so hard?

My Date with a Bisexual?!


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rupaulLast Saturday when I was doing an inventory at Gander Mountain, a sales associate asked me how old I was. It was random and I was tired considering it was 5 AM in the morning. I said 25 and then asked him how old he was. He said 23 and that was the end of the conversation. Then after the inventory was over and we were about to leave he came up to me and gave me his phone number. It was so random; it has been so long since I have met a guy organically.

I got home and debated on texting him. I had trouble reading his hand writing but then texted my best guess. He texted me back and told me how beautiful I was. We both had the next day off and agreed to meet for pizza.

We met for lunch at a pizza place. He was tall, wore glass and had bolding blond hair. I was a bit skeptical about this guy. He told me how he lives with his parents and working at Gander Mountain is his dream job. He loves guns. He was dishonorably discharged from the military. He said that he had a shoulder injury and they used that to dishonorably discharge him. He was stationed in Japan for a year and had many interesting stories. He had some oh no no’s in my book, but he was very funny and I enjoyed talking to him.

Then we decided to meet up for drinks later. We had a good conversation and then he suggested that we go to Amelie’s French Bakery. I got a caramel brownie and he got two éclairs. His card was declined and I paid for it. Ok, I know he works at Gander Mountain and probably does not make much money. But why offer to pay? It was a little off putting that he does not manage his money. Then he told me that he did not date many girls. I thought “Aww, he must just not date a lot.” He had a fiancé and she had a baby in high school as a result of rape. The child was adopted by her sister and she is still a part of the baby’s life as an aunt. He told his parents after they become engaged and she got mad, so she hooked up with a bunch of guys at basic training. They broke up when he was sent to Japan and they are still close friends. While in Japan he came out as bisexual.

I have no problem with gay or bisexual people. If you want to be gay, be gay. If you want to be straight, be straight. Either way, I don’t really thing that it is a big deal. Live your life. Rupaul’s Drag Race is one of my favorite shows and I had a good friend that was gay.  But is it wrong that dating a bisexual is a deal breaker for me? This guy is really nice but I don’t think it will work.

I’m a liar.


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assholeOn Monday, I had an interview for a part time legal assistant position at a Social Security disability law firm. I had a week’s notice so I was able to work it out with my inventory job to have the day off. The interview went well and I was so excited when they called me Wednesday afternoon to come in for a second interview at 9:30 AM on Friday. The only problem, I was scheduled to work Friday morning.  This sent me into full panic and anxiety mood. I could have told my inventory job Thursday that I could not work Friday but had no clue what to say. I really did not know what to say “umm… I have been scheduled to work Friday for two weeks but I have an interview and I really want to go so I am not going to be able to work Friday.” I felt so bad. I really like my job and my boss is so nice to me. So I did what I always do when I am really anxious about something, procrastinate. So then I thought that I would just call in to work on Friday and just say that I was sick and go to the interview. Then I just I emailed my supervisor last night saying I was “sick” and would not be working this morning. He did not email me back and I am worried. What if he did not get it? I don’t want him to think that I just did not show up. I was so anxious I barely slept last night.

This morning I went to the second interview for the part time legal assistant position and they offered me the job. I accepted on the spot. They gave me an office tour and I’ll have a nice cubical next to a window. I am really excited and so grateful to be given this opportunity.  Then they told me that they wanted me to start next Monday instead of Monday March 16th. I told them that I would have to talk to my other job because I am scheduled to work next week. What I did not tell the law firm was that I could not tell my inventory supervisor today that my scheduled would be changing because I had said I was sick today.  The law firm wanted me to email them later today to let them know what day I could start, so I just emailed them saying I could start Wednesday. I was planning to tell my inventory supervisor Monday. I’m so anxious and feel like I might be having a heart attack. I have to work tomorrow. I am embarrassed and stressed out.

I hate that I always do this. I always do the wrong thing. It is like I just panic and do stupid. I wish I could be a normal person. I’m so anxious that I am physically ill. The stress is killing me.



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( This is me during the interview)

Today I went on my first real job interview in 6 months (kind of.) It was an interview for a part time legal assistant position at a law firm that specializes in Social Security disability. I worked in a similar position a year ago for another law firm. I think that the interview went well. I was as normal as I could possibly be. The job is most likely only ever going to be part time and pays $9 dollars an hour. So if I get this job, I will still be working my inventory job part time as well. This job would be a great opportunity for me but then I am going to be working two jobs for the foreseeable future. The part time job that I interviewed for wants a long term commitment. I worry a lot about money and wish it was not such a struggle to find a full time job that paid above poverty level. I guess we will just see how things turn out.

I Am a Mess in My Sunday Best


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You_are_a_loser (1)Yay! Today is Friday. Not really, I have to work tonight. I don’t like working on Friday night but it’s not like I have plans. Plus I need the money. I have been taking these sleeping pills that my mom bought over the counter. They did not work for her so she gave them to me. I have been taking them a while and last night I took the second to last pill and realized that they had expired on 03/11. That is almost 4 years ago! Last night I went to sleep at 9PM and woke up at 1PM the next day. That was so crazy. Those pills practically made me comatose.

This week my diet has been shity mostly because I don’t give any fucks about anything. I have been pretty much just drinking Mountain Dew and that’s it. Now my face has broken out really bad and I look like the meth addicts at work. On the plus side maybe I will make friends. I’ll try next week to get back on the healthy bandwagon.

Next Monday I have an interview for a part time position at a law firm. I am so nervous and terrified that I am going to fuck it up. I feel physically ill every time I think about it. I wish for one day I could be normal and maybe get a job that would not embarrass my mom when her church friends ask what her daughter does. That got dark fast.

Getting Dumped Sucks !!!!


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I feel so dumb right now. I have been dating Mr. ridiculously good-looking for about a month now and I thought that things were going well. I really liked him and I thought that he liked me. We hung out last Thursday and had a great time. He told me that he could not hangout over the weekend. Friday, he met up with some teachers from school for drinks and on Saturday he went to a party with his roommate. He texted me of the weekend. On Monday we made plans to hangout on Thursday. He texted me on Tuesday, telling how he missed me and could not wait to see me. Then today (Thursday) he texted me in the morning saying he was not sure if we should hangout due to the weather. It had snowed the night before but the roads were fine and by noon there was barely any evidence of snow. I texted him at 3 PM and said that I thought the roads would be fine. (Yes, I know now in retrospect I sound so stupid.) Then he texted me back that he forgot that he told the teachers last Friday that he would be a part of their bowling league on Thursday night. I just texted back and said “That’s cool maybe another time. Have fun.”

I’m really disappointed. It feels like something better came along so he just bailed on me. I really liked this guy and really tried not to mess it up. I was the best version of myself. I did not over text him. I was kind, friendly and outgoing. I deleted his number and if he contacts me I am not going to respond. I am not going to be around when he has nothing else to do. He may have a face that is a work of art, but if you mess with people’s hearts; it’s bad karma and what comes around goes around. Trust me, if anybody knows this it is me.

Work Stories: I Almost Died!!!!


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mrs-crabtreeI have been at my inventory job for about a month. It is an easy job; all I have to do is count merchandise and record it on a small handheld computer. It was a bit stressful at first but everything stresses me out but now it’s not so bad. It is minimum wage paying job and a lot of the people that work there are questionable at best. Most people that I work with look like they are on Meth, so I am like the most attractive person there except this one guy that looks like a young Ashton Kutcher. Everyone that I have worked with smells really bad and looks like they have not showered since 2008. Also I am the only person that does not smoke.  It is not my dream job but I am so grateful that I have a job.

When I go to work I drive to a meet spot which is a Kmart and then take the company bus to the store. Last week, I went to a fabric store in Ashville, NC which was a 2 and a half hour drive away. I had to be at the bus stop at 3:45 AM so I left my travel trailer at 2:45AM to get there early to make sure I got a seat on the bus. I did not want to drive my car, which is on its last leg and only still running by the grace of God, to Ashville. I got there early and the bus was late. When the bus got there I noticed that only a few people got on the bus and the rest were waiting in their cars. I thought that it was weird but got on the bus. Then another bus pulled up and the rest of the people got on the bus.

On the bus I sat next to this lady and she was very large. So I was squished up against the window and she smelled really bad like an egg mcmuffin had gotten lost in one of her rolls and had been marinating there for months. Then for the first hour and a half she was on her cell phone responding to emails on a naughty dating site. Her cell phone was so bright like a flashlight in my eyes. It was 4AM in the morning! I thought it was so rude. Everyone else in the van was trying to sleep the least she could go was turn down the brightness setting. I was really annoyed.

Then there was the bus driver aka the reason no one wanted to ride on this bus. To paint a visual, she looks like a real life version of the bus driver on South Park.  She sang along to the radio the whole way which sounded like a cat being strangled. It was bad and but even the main issue I have with her which is that she can’t drive. I can’t drive well and I own that. This lady makes me look like the world’s greatest driver. To be quite honest it was terrifying. It had iced the night before and we were swerving all over the road; it was like being on a roller coaster. She kept missing turns and once when we turned around we spun on the ice and almost hit a stop sign. The lady beside me started flipping out, yelling at the driver “You can’t F***ing drive. They should have never let you drive in this f***ing weather.” Then the bus driver started yelling back at her. It was not pretty; it was a miracle that we made it to the store in one piece. To make it worse we were late.

My Valentine’s Day


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heartSurprisingly I was not alone on Valentine’s Day. I had not seen Mr. Ridiculously Good-Looking in a while because I was sick and we did not talk much, so I made other plans. But when we hung out last Thursday he asked me if I wanted to hangout on Valentine’s Day. The thing was when he asked me it sounded almost like he was doing me a favor by volunteering to go out with me on Valentine’s Day. We ended up going out on Friday night to celebrate Valentine’s Day and he gave me chocolates. We went to a nice restaurant. He seemed to be in a bad mood and after we were there an hour he wanted to meet up with his friends for a drink. Ok, I hate being with a group of people I don’t know; it makes me really uncomfortable, but I really like this guy. It was supposed to be his roommate, his roommate’s girlfriend and their friend from college, but the girlfriend backed out. I really did not want to go to a guy’s night. He was not happy that I did not want to go.

So I had plans on Valentine’s Day and not will Mr. Ridiculously Good-Looking. When I lived in Charleston, I dated a guy named James. Our relationship ended when I moved. Toward the end we were more friends than boyfriend/girlfriend. We remained friends after I moved. He asked me if I want to comes to Charleston and go to a wine event with some friends and I agreed. On Saturday morning I drove to Charleston and he did not want to go to the wine event. It was really awkward; he was acting like we were still a happy couple. It was uncomfortable; I have not seen him in almost a year. I should have never gone to Charleston. I am not sure what I was thinking. The whole time I was there I kept thinking I just want to leave. I said that my stomach hurt and left. I should have told him the true but I don’t think he would have understood.

So then I drove three hours home. Mr. Ridiculously Good-Looking texted me to see what I was up to and when I said I was on my way home, so we met up for drinks. I really like this guy but I feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

My Thoughts on Married At Frist Sight The First Year: Turkey Days


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MAFS-The-First-Year-About-DI have not been blogging about the last few episodes of Married at Frist Sight: the First Year but I watched last night’s episode and was fired up. (I really need to get a hobby or something; I have too much time on my hands.) Before I get into this post two thing. Monet and Vaughn’s divorce is finalized in this episode and they are seeing other people (don’t care.) Secondly, if you are a diehard fan of Jason don’t read this post; it’s brutal.

In this episode Cortney has to choose between going home to North Carolina and staying in New York with Jason even though he is working for Thanksgiving. She does not want to be alone on Thanksgiving. Cortney is falling apart, crying and wants to see her family. She has supported Jason though the academy, the death of his mother and she just lost her job. She just seems emotionally raw. She ended up stays in New York with Jason and they have a “friendsgiving” with their New York friends. At friendsgiving, Jason talks about missing his mom, since it was his first Thanksgiving without her. I feel bad that his mom is gone but it seems like he has no sympathy for Cortney missing her family. Then after Thanksgiving, she tells Jason she wants to go home to North Carolina for a few days to see her family. I think that Jason could have been a lot more understanding. Then he goes to a friend and is talking about how he did not want to move to North Carolina and divorce. Isn’t that a bit premature? To be fair earlier in the episode Cortney was talks to Monet about possibly going back and forth between New York and North Carolina. Then went she gets back to her and Jason’s apartment; it is empty. Jason better have a damn good reason because right now he looks like an asshole. Cortney has supported him 100% though the academy and the death of his mother. She has been a rock for him for so long and then when she started to fall apart and needs him, he is not supportive.

Can Jamie and Doug get any cuter? I think that Doug is a great guy and I knew when they got married in Married At Frist Sight if she gave him a chance they would be good together. In this episode they have Thanksgiving at their home and invite both of their families. Jamie’s mom does on show up and Jamie is upset. Then they take pictures for an ugly sweater Christmas card with their dog lady. It was super cute.


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