Happy Birthday Mom!

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birthdayHappy birthday to my Mom. I love my mom and I am so blessed to have her as a mom. My mom is my #1 fan and supports me in everything that I do. I don’t know what I would do without her.

My mom is my hero. When my mom was almost 40 years old, she went to Clemson University and got a degree in civil engineering, while taking care of two small children. Engineering is a difficult degree to get and nearly impossible with two kids, but my mom did it. My mom is truly inspirational.

Whether times are good or bad, my mom is always upbeat and is a positive person to be around. I wish I could be more like her.

Mom I love you so much!

My Neighbor’s Cat Adopted Me Against My Will!!!

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catAs I have mentioned in a previous post, my neighbor has this big red dog that is not kept on a lease or chain. It just runs around terrorizing people (mostly me) and animals. My neighbor also has a grey cat. The dog chases the cat into our yard every time the cat tried to go home, so it stays in our yard and eats our stray cat’s food.

At first we thought it was a stray cat so my mom called the neighbor and asked if it was her cat. She texted her back saying it was and its name is Thor. Well, since it is here all the time I call it owl cat because it looks like an owl. The cat is always sitting on our front porch like it is home. Every time I am outside the cat follows me around meowing at me.  So unless my neighbor gets rid of the red dog, owl cat is my new best friend.

Hot Cashier at the Walmart

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alex-from-target-videoSixteenByNine540

Today I went to the local York Walmart to get some groceries. Since I am unemployed I like to go to Walmart during the work week in the middle of the day. There are way less people except for the old people that like to walk really slowly in the middle of aisle. I just want to scream at them pick a side! Plus it is 10 days till Christmas so go in the evening or the weekend would be a zoo. Too many people and an anxiety attack waiting to happen.

mama june

So I got what I needed and went to the check outline. It took me a while to find a line without a bunch of old people moving at a snails or arguing with the cashier about prices. I got up to the register; looked up and the cashier was absolutely gorgeous. This guy had blond hair, blue eyes and perfect teeth. He looked like an Abercrombie model. It was shocking. In York, SC most of the people look like Honey Boo Boo’s family. I recently read in the news that Mama June & Sugar Bear turned down a million dollar sex tape offer. Good, I don’t think that world needs to see that. Anyway, this hot guy rung up my groceries and he was really nice. Then he called me ma’am. Ouch! I’m 25. I am too young to be a ma’am.

Nobody said it would be easy

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Nobody said it would be easlyThese past few years, since college have been rough on me. I was dumb enough to get a degree in Sociology, which was my first mistake that I will pay for the rest of my life. (Seriously, the most expensive paper I will ever have.) I honestly thought if I just got a degree in anything that I would be able to get an office job that I could tolerate and receive a livable wage. To clarify by livable wage I mean a modest lifestyle where I can pay my monthly student loan payments. Then I ruined a fairytale life with the only guy that I ever really loved and that ever loved me. What can I say, I am a really shitty person. To be honest, I feel like I deserve to be miserable. Since then I have been a shit show that keeps getting worse every year. I can’t manage to keep a job or get past the first date.

I don’t know why I am like this but I have to stop dwelling on past. It is making me miserable. I just want to move forward and be successful in life and in love. I want to have a career and I want to fell in love and get married. I feel like I am suck and I just don’t know how to get there.

So Awkward

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Today I went to Best Buy and got a new computer. My uncle is in town and he went to Best Buy with me. It was like a 40 minutes car ride to the Best Buy and back. I’m not good with people or making small talk with people but I tried and failed miserably. I asked my uncle but how my cousins were doing. Then he went off on the rant about how his ex-wife poisoned his kids against him and takes all his money because she is too lazy to work. That was just on the way there so on the way back I thought I would play it safe and asked how he liked his apartment in Ireland. My uncle and my other uncle have an apartment in Ireland. My other uncle lives there full time and he visits when he can. He said it was nice and he would live there now except that he has to pay child support for the next 3 to 4 years. Apparently he had to pay child support for his middle daughter until she was 19 because she was still in high school. She failed a class so she was in school an extra semester. Oh yea, did I mention she was home schooled by my uncle’s ex-wife. He thinks his ex-wife made her fail on purpose so she could keep getting child support. Obviously there is a really messed up situation going on there and I feel bad for my uncle, but my uncle is really bitter. I realized I am kind of the same way and I don’t want to be bitter.

Happy Birthday Doug!

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gatsby-leo-051113Today is my stepdad’s birthday. He is a jack of all trades. He makes the best waffles on Christmas morning. He built an Ikea kitchen and a deck, which is pretty cool. Doug has taught me so many things over the years like how to use a drill bit, the difference between a nail and a screw and how to take care of my car. I am sure he will teach me many more things over the years. I am thankful that he always gives me a kick in the ass when I need it. I am so lucky to have him as a stepfather.

Student Loans Rant/ Please Don’t Talk to Me

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ShadowToday has been slightly more productive than the past few days. I have not felt like doing anything.  I have still not done my laundry or cleaned, but I finally went on a walk after I have been talking about it for over a week.  My neighbor has this big red dog that barks a lot and is not kept on a leash. So when I went on my walk the dog followed me barking and growling. It was annoying.  So while I was walking I listened to the Dave Ramsey podcast. I listen to his podcast usually a few times a week.  His podcast kind of depresses me.  There is this part of the podcast where people talk about how they got out of debt using the Dave Ramsey program. They usually have some tear filled story like “Me and my wife did not know what to do. We were $30,000 dollars in debt due to student loans and car payments. (Cue tears)  We were at wits end and tired of being strapped with debt. Though the grace of God and our church we found Dave Ramsey. Though his system we were able to pay off $30,000 in three years making 120,000 dollars a year.” Really? I am glad they were able to get out of debt but boo-hoo-hoo. It is really hard for me to be sympathetic for some of the people that call in to the show.  Best case scenario for me would be getting a job paying $10 dollars an hour.  This would be a livable wage, except I have so much student loan debt.  At this rate my grand-kids would be dead and buried before I could ever pay it off.  I know that it is my fault for getting a degree in Sociology and now I wish I would have gotten a degree in anything else, but I was 18 years old and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. 95% of the people that are in debt on the Dave Ramsey show have student loan debt. If this is not a sign that the higher education system is overpriced to the point of extortion, than I don’t know what it.

Don't talk to meAfter my walk, feeling motivated I went to the Dollar Store to buy birthday cards for my mom and step dad.  Both of their birthdays are coming up in the next week. The Dollar Store was surprisingly busy for midday on a Thursday. I really don’t like doing to crowed places; it causes me anxiety but it was a long drive so I felt obligated to go in. So, I went to the card section and I was looking at cards and this old lady turns to me and says “This card is in the wrong place it; it belongs over there.” I hate when people I don’t know talk to me in public. I never know what to say and get very anxious. I ended up muttering something like “that sucks.” Then there was this little kid pushing a cart down the aisle with this mother. I was on one side of the aisle looking at a card and the old lady was on the other side of the aisle a little bit further down reading a card. This kid had plenty of space to go down the aisle but he hit me with the cart. I was not hurt but the mother did not say anything to me; she just yells at the kid” I told you; you need to stop hitting people with that cart.” Really? How rude. This is why I am not a people person.

Disappointed

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hands-on-headI have really been trying to get a job. I have been spreading my resume around the internet like confetti and nothing. Then this morning, as if it was a gift from God, I got an email from a shoe company looking for a returns associate, wanting to interview me. I remembered applying for the job thinking that it would be a fit for me. I was so excited that I finally had a job interview. Maybe this unemployment nightmare will be over soon. Then later this afternoon, I got another email from them canceling the interview. Apparently they have decided not to hire someone at this time. I’m really disappointed.

Meeting Up With My Sister

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wednesy adams

Today I met up with my sister. She was depressed and spent most of our time together ranting about her roommate. She complained that her roommate does not listen to her, is not empathetic to her problems and only talks about herself. I think that it is a bit ironic because she is the same way. I feel bad that she is going through a hard time. She is not getting along with her roommate. She has not applied for a job for two weeks and had given up on trying to sublease her apartment. I wish there was something that I could do for her but all I can do for her is listen to her and be sympathetic.

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