Happy Friday Readers! Today I am still applying for jobs like crazy. I am really excited because I have a date tonight. I usually write about my dates after the date but then I thought why not. On the plus side if I get murdered by the guy the cops will have plenty of clues to find this guy because I put it on the internet. (I don’t think that this guy is going to murder me)
(I love David Guetta. He is like the hottest DJ I know)
I met this guy on Match.com (I gave up on Plenty of Fish. It did not go well. Remember Rob? Never like ever again) He is 37 years old which is a little bit young me. He is definitely not the Sir Sean Connery type I am looking for but since I have not had many dates recently, I thought I would give the guy a chance. Ok, the guy that I am meeting tonight is a DJ and has a YouTube channel. I was hoping to date a guy with a stable job like an accountant, lawyer, or IT specialist, but a DJ how interesting. (Who am I to judge I don’t even have a job.) This guy looks like a sexy Harry Potter with soul patch. (I don’t really like soul patches. It looks like pubic hair on your face which is not sexy. No offence to anyone with a soul patch it is just not my thing.)
We are going to meet at Crave the Dessert Bar in uptown Charlotte at 9:30 PM. I love Crave but you have to be a rocket scientist (or not legally blind) to figure out their parking. I really don’t like parking in parking garages to go to restaurants because I when I leave between Midnight and 2 AM I feel like my odds of getting rape, murder, killed go up a lot. That being said Crave has the perfect warm cozy decorum for a first date. They have delicious drinks and even better desserts. Last time I went there I had a candied bacon ice cream cookie. At first I thought that bacon and ice cream would be gross but it was amazing. I loved the combination of salty and sweet flavors and the texture of the crunchy bacon against the creamy vanilla ice cream. This time I would like to try s’mores platter. I love s’mores and I think that would be fun on a first date. (Disclaimer I have no affiliation with Crave; I am just a fat girl that loves desserts.)
How I plan to rock this date as opposed to crash and burn like my other dates
1. be prepared
I am not beautiful. I think may actually be a hobbit. I’m short and hair grows on my toes. (Wait, I don’t think that hobbits are real but if they were, I would be one.) It takes a lot of work to make myself to like a person and not look like a hobbit/toll. Normally when I am getting ready for a date I feel like I am running out of time and I miss things like filling in my eyebrows or shaving my toes. Than sometimes when I go on dates I’ll try to go for a “natural look.” No, just no because of the way that I look I have to put some serious effort into my makeup and clothing. Being ugly is so hard.
2. Lot of Alcohol
I would never say no to a sparkling wine from Domain Carnero but the alcohol is not for me but I will still have a glass of wine. I don’t want to get this guy drunk but I think that a shot would move me from a 5 to a 7on the attractiveness scale and my jokes would be funnier. (Makeup only does so much magic, folks.)
3. Be Normal
I am really weird and awkward kind of like Zoey Deschanel in The New Girl but way less attractive and more awkward. I am really awkward around other people and I say weird things. I don’t know why I am like this but I am. So wish me luck on my date. I am sure I will write about it later. If you are going on a date please ignore any of this advice.